Incubus

"Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt, and it feels like i'm alive"- Incubus

What is a good hurt? from what i can tell there really isn't any plus side to hurting. i mean, they call it "hurt" for a reason, right? i guess you could build up a fair argument saying that people who are into dominatrix S&M stuff hurt, but to them it feels good.... if you really wanted to.

what i think Incubus should have said is that yes, love hurts. sometimes falling in love hurts. but if you're not prepared to hurt and bare your heart to the world and look like an idiot, you shouldn't jump.

2010 Valentine's post mortem

i hate valentine's day. legit hate it. i believe that it is the stupidest holiday ever to be created. (well, maybe not ever, i mean, arbor day? come on.) but seriously. it's up there.

think about it. if you're in a relationship this one day puts so much pressure on you, and if you're single you end up feeling like crap and wondering why it is that you're alone when everyone around you seems so happy and in love. honestly though, why should february 14th be any different than any other day?

Couples: if you're happy, that's all that matters. you dont need fancy dinners, movies, flowers, or candy to prove that. and honestly, you are the biggest douche ever if you propose on valentine's day.

Singles: i honestly believe that there is the right person out there for everyone. i know it sounds corny and like something out of a bad romantic comedy or something. but i truely believe that there is someone for everyone.

we as girls grow up with so many skrewed up idols for relationships. i mean, my favorites were all the princesses i read about in my fairy tales. they always got their prince in the end and it seemed so easy. grow hair long, he'll find you. fall asleep, he'll find you. almost marry someone else cause you think he's dead, he'll find you. rescue her from a dragon while trying to get your swamp back, she'll kick ass in martial arts. any way you looked at it they always ended up "happily ever after"

i guess what i'm trying to say is that love can't be forced. so why do we try to force it every year with this holiday? just think about it. i started a new tradition this year, one that i hope to continue. the day after valentines (or a few days after) i went out and got 10 red roses nad wrote a letter on each one saying "sorry this is late, but somewhere out there someone loves you and thinks you're amazing. happy late valentine's day." yes. once again, corny. but think about it. imagine those faces as they open their door and see that rose. maybe it'll make their day a little better. maybe it'll give them the courage to say what's in their heart. either way it doesn't do any harm, and how could it possibly end badly? try it sometime. try paying it forward. one day that love will come back to you, and if it already has, you're luckier than you know.

~K

ok, there's my corny quote filled for a while. =)

No. i did not do the "be still" artwork. ha! i wish. i found it online through a friend, and it was such a perfect picture of my daily brain activity and thought that i decided to use it. thanks to the artist, whoever you are.

Watsky

i started writing about 4 months ago now. i mean really writing. not assigned school stuff, or "dear diary, guess what happened to me today" shit. i guess in a way it was my way of getting stuff out in my own kind of twisted "dear diary" way.

i suppose it started when i found this guy, george watsky. i dont mean i *found him* like finding jesus or something. i mean, i was just bored one night so i youtubed local poets, and he showed up. i've been kind of in awe with slam poetry ever since. not simply because they go up on stage without a clue of what the next line will be, just making it up on the spot, but because they are SO honest. people say that lyricists are honest and say the words we the listeners are too scared to say out loud. and i guess that's true to a certain point of some lyric writers. but so many of them now just write inside the box of relationship-troubles, i'm-in-love-with-you, partying, whatever lyrics. seriously, if i hear another line in a song about how "my heart is yours" or some shit like that i'll scream. would it kill people to be original and out of the box?!

anyway, back to george. he wrote this poem called the "V club" i think it's called? but it's basically about how he was a loser virgin in high school, but he didnt care. that it made him who he is today, and how even though no girl wanted to sleep with him or date him he still felt sexy and being true to himself. i mean, seriously!? i know tones of guys like that, but not many who would admit to it. it takes serious balls to write the truth. i guess that was my point. i get side tracked easily. like "hey, so there's this awesome poet who is amazing. check it ou..... ooooh! bunny!!!" it's a little ridiculous. whatever.

that's it for now. check him out. seriously. he's amazing. talks a little funny, but you'll get used to it...

out.

the best policy?

I understand now what people say when they say two places at different times. Just because you love someone and they love you doesn't mean it will work. It doesn't always mean it wont either, it just isn't a guarantee. you know? and no matter how much you might love that person and how much you want things to work, it doesn't always. you cant always get what you want. square peg, round hole, two different places, all that... people say if you love someone let them go, but what about you? that means they get to go fly and what, you just stay there stuck? i think it should be the other way around. if you love someone, then let yourself go. i think it just means being honest. honest to yourself, honest to the other person. not necessarily letting yourself go meaning jump in, no thought or questions. just dont hide who you are to make them like you more. you are who you are, and if they dont like that, then are they really the right person for you? honesty sometimes hurts, but at least you'll know you were being true to who you are, and not putting yourself in a box of what they wanted you to be.

Untitled

I wrote this one a while ago. you may have already read it. you may not. but here it is either way. =)

Untitled

“Damn girl! You must be wearing space pants, cause your ass is out of this world!”

… Well thanks Mr. Creepy Berkeley man, I guess.

Cause after years of having guys stare at my ass and my chest

Instead of my face and my eyes I have no energy left to give up protest.

Girls don’t walk down the street saying “damn boy! Nice cock.”

So what gives you the right to treat US like livestock?

A man who bangs 2 chicks the same night, he gets a high five and “Score!”

But if a girl dates two guys at the same time people call her a whore.

Poor girls waiting, searching all life long for Mr. Right

When all the guy’s want to be is Mr. Just-for-tonight

And sometimes I wonder, are happy endings for real?

Or just another fictitious lie the population conceals?

Little girls dressing up, messing up, fessing up, writing his name

In notebooks with hearts then getting the blame

For not being a good girlfriend, when he was the one

Who “accidently” kissed that girl at the party cause he thought it was fun.

So then next time I walk down the street and some guy says “nice butt”

I’ll turn around and say “Hey ass hole! Sit down and shut up!

“I am beautiful, but how the hell would you know that

When you first judge girls’ hotness on weather they’re skinny or fat.

You kiss your mama with that mouth?

Or does she even know you say stuff like that?

When 50 years ago she had to put up with the very same crap

From guys just like you, with no balls and a loud voice

So take a second, think about it, and make the right choice.”